New "Street Tacos" at Tommy Colina's Kitchen

UPDATE: IT'S CLOSED. 

RIP Tommy Colina

ChimiChurri Street Taco ($10.49):
Shaved tenderloin, lettuce blend, chimi churri sauce, tomatoes,
Chardonnay onions, fresh mozzarella, pita bread

Umm. Really?

I try my darndest not to be a food purist. I try to understand that terms such as "pizza" and "taco" can be used loosely. I try to lead a life that fosters a mutual understanding that transcends cultures. And by golly, I try to go to church on Sunday.

What have I done to be subjected to this?

When I think street taco, I think of a mound of carne asada with flies buzzing around it, hastily piled into a steamy tortilla with some sort of puree that is mostly jalapeño seeds. But let's not nitpick. One could also consider my dear Doritos Locos to be something of a street taco.

To be clear, my main qualm wasn't the divergence from the traditional definition of "taco." Rather, I was forced to wonder whether its creator had ever bothered to have a bite of one before. For a pile of marinated meat, gleaming mozzarella, and tangy chimichurri, all atop a thick slab of pita, refuses to be folded. The diner is systematically prohibited from eating with his hands, and a troubleshoot with ye ole knife and fork leads to inevitable wax tissue paper ingestion. Oh, the horror!

There's no eating this on any street, unless by street you mean sitting in front of your television with a tray and a bib.

Logistics aside, once I combed through the thinly-sliced beef tenderloin and fashioned a comprehensively edible mass out of the mess in the plastic basket, I rapidly attained a sense of satiety. Does this mean it was tasty? I'm not sure.

To La Familia Colina: Try replacing the stiff, store-bought pita bread with something more tortillaesque, if for no other reason than to facilitate successful consumption of the dish. Viva el taco.

Tommy Colina's is at 3558 Farnam Street, with a new location opening soon in the Wild West (Omaha) at 180th and Pacific Street.