Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Curled Up with My Microwave

'Tis the season, for poop-brown snow banks in parking lots and salt-damaged leather boots. As soon as this bastard blizzard is over, I suggest you get yourself to the Goodwill WearHouse at 72nd and F.

This is where all junk goes to die. It's the last stop before they, who knows, incinerate it? In one of the intimidating blue bins (posted signs warn of sharp objects throughout) I hit a jackpot of vintage books, my favorite being the Better Homes & Gardens Microwave Cook Book, published in 1976. Here I sit, entrenched in the sofa, arm waving lazily towards the fridge in want of a beer, perusing the pages for my next culinary hit. Will it be the Quick Fish Soup? The Golden-Sauced Franks? I can't wait to try out the Egg Salad Sandwich Pizza on my friends. And to think, everything is handily nuked!

The only thing is, if the power goes out while I'm cookin', I'll be screwed.

Saturday, December 15, 2012

Food Punk Part II

A few weeks ago a friend of mine made us six courses in his home kitchen. He rolled them out in perfect succession -- though we did have to take a whiskey break right before the bacon dessert.

Click on over and get envious of these mad skillz.

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Pig Head Monday

So the other day I came home to a pig's head braising in the oven. This wasn't just any old pig's head, rather, it came from a local farm (yaayyyyy, local!) and was apple fed. I don't know why it didn't come with an apple in its mouth, but whatever.

Some folks are elated to eat pig's head, others aren't. I fear we need to let go of that neatly-packaged, pre-skinned, pre-breaded, pre-sliced, pre-cooked, ground-two-weeks-ago, patty-fied, ready-to-eat preference most of us have. If we're that nauseated from the sight of a cooked pig's head, do we have any right eating meat at all? I recall a friend getting grossed out over one loose feather in her carton of farm eggs. Did she think they were manufactured at the Nestle factory?

After all, most hot dogs are made of a mix of mechanically separated meats -- a product known as "white slime" -- and the average American chokes down about 60 of those a year. We've gotten really, really good at forgetting where our meat comes from, wouldn't you say?

Don't worry, I'm not gonna be pigheaded and get all "nose-to-tail" on you. While I do agree it's a more common-sensical, gentile approach to meat eating, it's not that easy. I had to forego the snout and went solely for the cheeks. Still can't quite figure out what to do with the eyeball. Probably throw it in some soup.


Oh, and for those of you who were not aware of any other options other than meat and potatoes here in Omaha, here's one Chicagoans take on it.