Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Curled Up with My Microwave



'Tis the season, for poop-brown snow banks in parking lots and salt-damaged leather boots. As soon as this bastard blizzard is over, I suggest you get yourself to the Goodwill WearHouse at 72nd and F.

This is where all junk goes to die. It's the last stop before they, who knows, incinerate it? In one of the intimidating blue bins (posted signs warn of sharp objects throughout) I hit a jackpot of vintage books, my favorite being the Better Homes & Gardens Microwave Cook Book, published in 1976. Here I sit, entrenched in the sofa, arm waving lazily towards the fridge in want of a beer, perusing the pages for my next culinary hit. Will it be the Quick Fish Soup? The Golden-Sauced Franks? I can't wait to try out the Egg Salad Sandwich Pizza on my friends. And to think, everything is handily nuked!

The only thing is, if the power goes out while I'm cookin', I'll be screwed.

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