The Diner

409 South 12th Street 

402.341.9870

Open daily 6:30am to 2:30pm, Sundays at 7:30am

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Inspired to point out the duct tape that is apparently holding the clock together at the corners. That is all. 

Some of you may already know I came of age in the deep, sticky comfort of a diner booth back East. Old enough to pretend to like chain smoking but too young to know people to buy us beer, we toiled our late nights away over plates full of bacon and scrambled eggs, all while expertly keeping the proper milk and sugar ratio between refills poured warily by a uniformed waitress too tired to care she wasn't going to get a great tip from us young idiots. 

I don't know why it took me so long to dine at the silver-paneled New Jersey knockoff with the shockingly creative name in the Old Market, but after hearing stories of its state while under former management, I'm glad I waited. The Diner changed hands about a year ago, and it seems what we have now is a perfectly respectable place to eat a boastfully unhealthy meal any day of the week. 

The arrival of the food took what seemed like an eternity in my shaky, morning-after mind, but it gave me a chance to chug two cups of decent black coffee with at least half the fervor I'd have if it were Hopluia. At least, it wasn't strikingly bland, weak, or overly acidic, like the brew served in similar establishments. 

Chicken Fried Steak,
complete with traditional deep fryer basket indentations in the breading,
and a peppery, delightfully fatty gravy.

My dining buddy donated a quarter of his chicken fried steak, and I'm glad, because the evident saltiness of the breading paired with the goopiest of white gravies turned out to be my favorite item on the table. In fact, it may be the most suitable breakfast in the area for those of you who opted for a liquid-only dinner the night before. The hashbrowns were served impressively, well, browned, a feat any short-order cook can tell you is tricky to do quickly, though often requested. I was also a fan of the hands-off yet effective service: servers came by unobtrusively to refill coffee and clear plates without interrupting our nonsensical conversations.

"Heartland" Omelette:
Chopped bacon, onions, green peppers, and tomatoes
barely sauteed and wrapped into a thin layer of cooked egg.
While the flavor was proper, the execution was bothersome,
and demanded we devote the next ten minutes of conversation
to an impromptu session on the finer points of omelette making. 

So the eggs came over easy when they should have been over medium. So they took that dreaded shortcut with the omelette and stuffed a pile of limp veggies into a thin layer of cooked egg before wrapping it up like some sort of strange burrito-like thing, instead of just cooking the fillings right into the egg. So my stomach is still churning from this meal eaten a distressing ten hours ago. It's much more likely that has to do with last night's escapades than this morning's grease content. Like I always say, don't expect too much and you won't be disappointed -- words to live by. 

Jack and Mary's Restaurant

655 North 114th Street
Omaha, NE 68154
(402) 496-2090
Open Monday thru Friday lunch and dinner, Saturday dinner, Sunday brunch 10am-2pm and dinner til 8:30pm
www.jackandmarysrestaurant.com 

Fried Chicken and Waffles

Fried chicken is something I'm only really "getting into" now, in my late twenties. Kind of like how people my age are getting into having kids. But I guess it's a little different. Anyway, I've figured out that there are a few things that make great fried chicken: It must be served hot, right out of the fryer; no heat lamps allowed. It shouldn't be overly greasy, sliding around on your plate like a possessed Ouija board planchette. The meat should be of good quality, which means more edible than non-edible parts. The batter should be seasoned with spices, but not too salty, and kept to a thin coating, so as to not cover up the flavor of the actual chicken. The first bite should be of meat, not just of fried matter. At Jack and Mary's, they know the fried chicken formula well. The waitstaff of old veterans and fresh faced newbies wore t-shirts that read "Giving Omaha the Bird For Over 30 Years," a claim they can definitely back up.

We went for brunch, where my leg and thigh adorned a Belgian-style waffle. Incorporating some vanilla into the waffle recipe could have made it less bland, and it could have been crispier on the outside, but the whipped butter and giant ramekin of syrup made it all work out. Jack's Plate was the typical two eggs/bacon/hash browns/toast, except it was atypically large, and overall very well executed. Neighboring tables were guzzling gizzards and giblets, iceberg and ranch from the salad bar, and mashed potatoes with extra gravy, in such a way I swore the retirees had been saving their appetites all week. In a West Omaha strip mall, the interior pulls off the country kitchen feel. I get the sense not every dish on the menu maintains the homemade-from-scratch model, so choose your items carefully. Flyers advertised a special Thanksgiving dinner for $12.95, where you'll probably find me, imbibing at the bar and polishing my plate.

Brunch entrees served with fresh fruit, and cinnamon rolls, which were heavy as heck.

Dark Rye Bread

Jack's Plate:
At least two industrial spatula-fulls of hash browns, two extra large eggs, and a bouquet of bacon

Bailey's

1259 South 120th Street
Omaha, NE 68144
(402) 932-5577
Open daily 7am-2pm

A couple of things stood out to me at this breakfast spot embraced by many as having the best benedict in the city. Firstly, nearly everyone dining on this particular Sunday morning was lookin' large. Very large. Look, I don't want to offend anyone, but it's true. About half of the items on the breakfast menu come "drizzled with Chef Jon's secret recipe Hollandaise." Just, um, go for a walk or something afterwards and you'll be fine. Regarding the service, I haven't been called "Hon" that many times since the last time I went to Baltimore. When we asked for hot sauce, the reply was, "You could have gotten that yourself." But don't get me wrong; I'll take a spunky senior as my server over a snotty college kid any day.

The eggs were poached to perfection, each one taking on a uniform smooth round shape and soft texture. On the Guerrero Benedict, the beans were of the Rosarita canned variety, and the chorizo was glistening with grease like it should be, but lacked the heat. The hash browns were very simple, but done well. Vintner's Eggs, with its crisp asparagus and ripe tomatoes, was probably even healthy. You may have to wait a few minutes for your table at Bailey's, but you'll need all the appetite you can muster to conquer one of these plates.

Guerrero Benedict:
Chorizo sausage, refried beans, cotija cheese and poached eggs over an English muffin with chipotle hollandaise 

Vintner's Eggs:
Grilled asparagus, poached eggs, chopped bacon, tomatoes and sourdough toast

Leo's Diner

6055 Maple Street
Omaha, NE 68104(402) 553-2280
Open early for breakfast but closes around 1pm most days, then re-opens for dinner, closed Mondays
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Leos-Diner/201050693097

Retro jukebox at each table... but do they work?

I can't tell you how many nights of my life have ended in a diner. When you're not old enough to (legally) drink alcohol, and there are places like Tom Jones filled with other 18 year olds smoking cigarette after cigarette and hounding the waitress for coffee refills, it's really the coolest place to be. Post-fake ID age, we still turned to diners to fill our boozy bellies at 3am, or maybe to cater to our hangovers the next morning.  I even worked at one for over a year! Yes, the "diner" holds a special place in my heart. So far, Leo's Diner in Benson is the only one I've found that even comes close to my favorites back home. The French toast, for example, is not some fancy brioche topped with preserves or encased in chocolate ganache or any of that funny business. It's flat, egg-y, and swimming in butter. The two-egg platter is just like what you'd get at one of New Jersey's finest; the hash browns are something else. As Leo's is a family affair, I understand their limited hours, but just think of all the Benson bros they could feed after the bars close!

In the meantime, I'll look into getting that tattoo that says "White, wheat, or rye?"

French Toast

Egg Platter with Bacon--
hash browns under there somewhere

Christmas in June, Why Not?
Coffee in True Diner Style: Mostly Water

Dixie Quicks

NEW ADDRESS:
157 W Broadway, Council Bluffs, IA 51503
(712) 256-4140

FORMERLY LOCATED AT:
1915 Leavenworth Street
Omaha, NE 68102
(402) 346-3549
Weird hours, check website and make a reservation 
www.dixiequicks.com


Making reservations for brunch is soooo Brooklyn. Make that a brunch place that is also an art gallery and you might think you have to take the L train to get there. Add the chalkboard-only menu, alternative looking servers, squished together tables and quirky decor and you've got something that is utterly unique for Omaha. (Bummer this place is moving to Council Bluffs soon.)


Let's talk about the food. The Dixie Scramble is a delightfully spongy English muffin topped with either meat or tomato, and a creamy tomato basil sauce. And eggs of course. For someone who usually douses her eggs in ketchup this was a nice departure. Maybe I don't know squat about grits but I thought these were pretty devoid of taste. The meat in the Italian sausage, pepper and mozzarella omelette was nice and spicy. The wheat toast was more akin to cardboard, and the cubed red potatoes were under-seasoned and also a little undercooked. So, they definitely know how to do eggs but are maybe ignoring the sides a little. Also, what's up with the drinks? There's no menu.


I'll try to sample the dinner--which looks really, really good--before this place moves across the Missouri, cause I prefer to hang out on this side of the river (like in Brooklyn). 

Dixie Scramble with Ham and Grits

Italian Sausage, Peppers and Mozzarella Omelette with Wheat Toast and Home Fries

Lisa's Radial Cafe

817 North 40th Street (Just south of 40th and Cuming)
Omaha, NE 68131-1828
(402) 551-2176
Open for breakfast and lunch, closes at 2pm most days; check out the "worker's special" weekdays before 8am. 

Lisa's has a lot of fans, and on this Saturday morning I was expecting greasy diner perfection. We sat under a wall decorated floor to ceiling with photos of different folks. Regular customers, perhaps? Staff family members? Don't really know. The vibe is very homey, nearly trashy, but friendly enough. The service was prompt, and my coffee and water was refilled often. As a former diner waitress used to waiting on hungover douchebags, I know how important these things are. I got a ham and tomato omelette--ham was sliced, not the cubed kind--and somehow it was missing something (cheese next time?), but I was pleased to see it wasn't bigger than my head. My dude got the eggs/bacon/toast combo (known as The Works), as you probably should too when you go here. Lisa knows her bacon, thick-cut and salty. I hear the french toast is good too. Hash browns just like the frozen kind I fry up sometimes, which isn't a bad thing. Cash only, and at 7 bucks a plate I've seen cheaper places.

Ham and Tomato Omelette with Wheat Toast and Hash Browns

The Works