Delivery from Sgt. Peffer's

1501 North Saddle Creek Road
And another location in Millard
Or, in this case, my bedroom in front of my TV
402.558.7717
Open daily 11am - 10pm
sgtpeffers.com

Hot Strombo and a side of potatoe salad ($6.50):
"Baked bun stuffed with sliced ham, pepperoni,
mancini peppers, mozzarella and romano"

Today at lunchtime I was faced with the strenuous task of finding something to eat without leaving my house. I foraged through the cabinets, but once the columns of Saltine crackers diminished, and the memories of setting the smoke detector off last night trying to make a pizza came back, I decided on delivery. My experience would have been smoother if I had the possibility of ordering online. In the "Delivery Instructions" field, I would have typed key by key with my index finger from my bed to please bring the food upstairs to my bedroom, along with some plates and napkins, and retrieve the money from my wallet which should be somewhere in the vicinity, but I'm not exactly sure where.

They don't offer online ordering, but to my delight, Sgt. Peffer's delivers. I spent most of the 45-minute wait wondering what's behind the name. What's a Peffer, and why the Beatles mid-career motif?

I intuitively disregarded Sir Paul's veggie crusade and went with a couple of meaty sandwiches. With a name like Hot Strombo, I was expecting something more, ya know, stromboli-like, perhaps a bit more fromagian. Instead, it was relatively light on the cheese, but stuffed with enough cured meats to fill a party tray. On the other hand, the roast beef au jus was just phenomenal.

The potato salad served on the side was one of my favorites in recent memory; it had a semi-pureed consistency, interrupted with bits of crunchy scallion.

As with most takeout, both sandwiches resembled a surgery, or as my dining buddy mused, "John Lennon's brain spatter." But both were much better tasting than the "jelly on stale bread" I would have come up with myself. Thanks, Sarge.

Roast Beef au Jus ($6.50), with peppers, onions and provolone cheese

Fat in Des Moines

Java Joe's CoffeeHouse
214 4th Street
Des Moines, IA 50309
(515) 288-5282
Open 6:30am to 11pm, midnight on Fri and Sat and 10pm on Sun
www.jjch.com

Cream of Broccoli Soup

There I was, a gray Thursday afternoon, wandering around the great Iowan metropolis. It was cold, and I may have been battling a real brain shrinker of a hangover. All I knew was I needed soup and coffee, and water. Luckily, Java Joe's had all of that. Their very vegetarian-friendly menu dabbles in Indian, Mexican, and standard deli/coffeehouse fare, a sort of multiple identity kind of place. I wonder if they can really pull off the Madras Lentils AND the Quesadilla AND the Belgian Waffle. The homemade Cream of Broccoli soup did the trick, though I realized I am so over Saltines. If you respect your soup, you gotta have a chunk of baguette, or a bagel chip, or oyster crackers, or something better than packaged Krispys. The coffee was strong and bold, and later the place stunk up the whole city block with the smell of roasting beans. They have live music at night, pleasant bathrooms, ample seating, and chummy counter folk. Perfect for a pit stop.

...

Hessen Haus
101 4th Street
Des Moines, IA 50309
(515) 288-2520
Kitchen open 'til 10pm, 7 days a week; bar open 'til 2am Wed thru Sat and 'til midnight Sun thru Tues
www.hessenhaus.com

Köstritzer Schwarzbier:
Creamy. Malty. Delicious.

The Hessen Haus wants you to think big. It's an elongated rustic beer hall with exposed wooden beams, beer paraphernalia in every nook, and instructions for everyone's faux-German drinking favorite, das Boot, printed right on their menus. I had never heard of das Boot--a giant glass boot to drink beer out of and pass around--before moving to the Midwest, but it's apparently something they do down there at Oktoberfest. Those silly Bavarians. Anyway, if anything, the Hessen Haus made me realize that I need not be so picky. Kölsch, thee beer from Cologne, is never served in a mug, but rather little highball glasses that make you feel dainty and stick your pinky out as you chug. It's just how it's done. But of course, we're not in Cologne, and I'm not a relentless snob, so I should probably just let that one go. Bratwurst would never be served on a fluffy, smushy bun, but rather a crusty hard roll. Again, let it go. The Reuben Rolls were pretty kraut-y and salty, and the potato salad was at least half vinegar, but once I got over myself I really enjoyed sipping my Schwarzbier. A worthy place to visit, an even better place to waste an afternoon at Happy Hour. Prost.

The Brat: Skip the kraut, but add some mustard.
Coarsely ground, not very dense, didn't pop with steam at the first bite like brats do sometimes. Tasty still.
The Potato Salad: Heavy on the vinegar, but maybe after a few passes of das Boot it won't matter. 

Reuben Rolls with Thousand Island Dressing