Barrett's Barleycorn

4322 Leavenworth Street
402.554.5805
Open daily for lunch and dinner 'til 11p.m., bar 'til 2a.m.
Monday is $5 burger night; go Thursday or Friday for the pork tenderloin.
barrettsomaha.com

Pork Tenderloin ($9.50) --
They cut it in half for a reason. 

My second visit to one of Midtown Omaha's staples left me a little confused as to why it's so goshdarn popular, but at the same time explained a few things for me (e.g. why Americans tend to be so obese). Here we have the very first place I ever dined in our fine city, some years ago. The reuben was forgettable; all I recall was my feeling of desperation as I scoured my iceberg salad for the last few bacon bits. It was time to give Barrett's another try.

Fortunately for my growling stomach, I remembered that Thursdays and Fridays are when Barrett's offers their famed Pork Tenderloin. Served on a sesame seed bun with an exorbitant amount of mayonnaise, the pork was exquisitely juicy, encased in a well-seasoned, not-too-thick layer of breading. Due to the (un)healthy slather of mayo, the stack of napkins on the table was necessary. And the crinkle cut fries were a joke. Still, the sandwich was so tasty, I'd say it's even worth braving the inside of a cramped sports bar during volleyball season.

Quite the opposite in quality, the beef in the French Dip did not appear to be US Foods' finest. Chewy around the edges and overall pretty dry, I've had better at Arby's. I didn't really know what to do with the heap of it, but it seemed counterintuitive to put it in my mouth.

French Dip ($7.95) 

Both sandwiches were insultingly and embarrassingly large in portion size. You can call it "value" or "bang for your buck" if you'd like, but there is really no reason for anyone to ever eat that much food in one sitting. But if you bring a buddy (or take a doggy bag), I suppose you needn't worry about spending all that food money you saved on your diabetes meds instead.


P.S. The freshly brewed iced tea -- though nothing special -- was refreshing, and the staff was obsessed with keeping our cups full.

Varsity Sports Café & Roman Coin Pizza

4900 Dodge Street
Omaha, NE 68132
402.934.9439
Open 11am to midnight, bar open til 2am, Sunday is 25 cent wing night.
They hope to start delivery soon.
Plus three other locations in Omaha
www.varsityomaha.com

Mini 7" Pizza with Pepperoni

Although sports bars fall into the "not for me" category, pizza is very much my thing, so I found myself checking out the newest location of this area chain on a recent Saturday afternoon in Dundee. The 14 or so televisions didn't help my ability to make conversation, but the servers' outfits provided some entertainment. Just like belly shirts in the 90s, wearing tights with no skirt/shorts is a privilege, not a right. Hopefully they stimulated some manly men to tip extra based on their behinds and bosoms. I chose to fixate instead on the ample assortment of draft beers, a slightly dented grand piano in the corner, and the traffic on Dodge.

The wings were suspiciously huge with extra white meat, like no other wings I've ever had the pleasure of staining my cheeks orange with. Apart from the freakishness, they tasted good, but the sauce was only of average hotness, despite our cocky request for "as hot as possible." The pizza uncannily reminded me of what you'd get at Chuck E. Cheese. But, the crust was thin and the cheese was browned, which is more than you can say about some local pizza chains. I could get in the mood for this again. They also reportedly offer a decent deep dish.

Frankenwings with Side of Ranch

The Traditional Sub was an assemblage of mediocre-quality ingredients: Bland bread, bargain ham and salami, and one very sad tomato. The crinkle-cut fries were whatever. The startling thing about this sub is that somehow, it WORKED! It just goes to show that a half dozen crappy ingredients can sometimes equal one edible sandwich.

Traditional Sub:
Ham, salami, mozzarella, hot peppers, lettuce and tomato

Sysco ketchup:
Heavy on the corn syrup

Roman Coin Pizza isn't shy about their use of Sysco products. Plopping corn syrup ketchup right on the table moves against the trend of "local" and "organic," but I say, why even bother trying to hide it?
We'll barely even notice with our eyes glued to the waitress' ass game on TV.