Jacobo's Grocery

4621 South 24th Street
Omaha, NE 68107
(402) 733-9009
Open Tues thru Fri 8:30am-6:30pm, Sat and Sun 8am-6pm, Mon closed
NO PHONE ORDERS, CASH ONLY
www.jacobos.com

You ain't seen no chicharrón like this one. It's like, a whole side of pig.
Burritos and tamales, too! 

I am typing this to you with one hand, and sensually shoveling a forkful of tamale into my mouth with the other. Next time I visit Jacobo's, I won't hesitate to tear open the corn husk in the parking lot and just start eating it there. Pretty soon I bet my car will be full of empty corn husks, which is better than Taco Bell wrappers, for sure. The lightly fried beef burrito was good too, but I think I'd prefer all or nothing as far as deep fried goes. At $1.50 each, someone should inform the cars wrapping around the nearby McDonald's drive-thru, cause these burritos are a much more fulfilling fat lunch. Shelves are stocked with every type of bean and rice you can imagine, along with a hot sauce for practically every day of the year. Behind the counter, a lard ball* floats in the vat of pinto beans, proof these are "real deal" frijoles. The chips and salsa might be some of the best in the city -- but you have to like cilantro. In sum, Jacobo's offers a cheap, fun lunch, and on some days you might burn enough calories standing in line to justify stuffing yourself.

*A later conversation with Mr. Jacobo revealed that they do not use lard in their beans. I must have been hallucinating. Nothing new there. 

Menu

Pastry Case

At Home

Wohlner's Neighborhood Grocery & Deli

2289 South 67th Street (in the heart of the developer's dream, Aksarben Village)
Omaha, NE 68106
(402) 551-6875
Breakfast 'til 11am, lunch 'til 3:30, dinner 'til 7:30 or so, see website for details
www.wohlners.com

Wholner's French Dip--
Roast beef, sauteed onions, peppers, mushrooms, Swiss cheese, toasted hoagie roll, au jus,
side of tomato bisque soup that was tasty but served room temp,
and if I was over age 65 I totally would have sent it back. 

"Noddle" Special (a "tribute" to the company who owns Aksarben Village?)--
Penne tossed with olive and artichoke tapenade, sun-dried tomatoes, broccoli, parmesan, grilled salmon filet,
looks great, tastes like nothing.

I'm a Whole Foods loving dork. Yeah, make your jokes about how expensive it is and how it's stuff white people like, but if Omaha didn't have a Whole Foods, I wouldn't live here. A supermarket where you don't have to read the labels to make sure you're not poisoning yourself is truly great. To suggest the steep prices aren't worth it is like telling me you know a friend who could have done my tattoos for way less than I paid--a comment I regularly encounter, by the way. Point is, cheaper is not better when it comes to your body, and I am a fan of Wohlner's not because it's "Omaha's oldest grocery store," but because they carry some decent stuff, their inventory representing a sort of Whole Foods/Baker's hybrid. The food at their restaurant is also half good, half bad. Check out their presentation of the French Dip. It's on a chic square plate, but with the soup and au jus in styrofoam bowls, a curious combo of classy and wasteful. The meat was half flavorful brisket, half inedible fat that should have been trimmed off to avoid the spitting after every bite. The "Noddle Special" had a fancy description but turned up with minced ingredients and zero seasoning. At Wohlner's they've got high prices and long waits (over ten bucks per person and more than a twenty minute wait), with food prepared by someone who doesn't eat food, perhaps an alien or something. That's all I can think about a piece of grilled salmon that hasn't been salt and peppered, and beef that is so tough and fatty your average old person would totally choke on it.

Lithuanian Bakery & Kafe

7427 Pacific Street
Omaha, NE 68114
(402) 391-3503
Open Monday thru Friday 8am to 6pm, Saturday 8am to 4pm, closed Sundays

Get your spätzle, your Black Forest cake mix, your mustard. And no old European ladies butting in front of you in line, it's fantastic.  

Giant loaves of fresh and day-old rye available for purchase. 

Bread N Butter

Lunch time comes, and many Omahans flock to their burger and barbecue joints. The Lithuanian Bakery & Kafe, nestled in a parking lot eclipsed by McKenna's BBQ and with the bustling BrewBurgers nearby, holds its own during this hour. Nearly every table was full with an assortment of families, business dudes and hausfraus by the time the clock struck one. And then there was us. Service was slow and dishes were served in a curiously staggered manner, but it allowed us a chance to sample each other's grub. Unlike the plates served by L B & K's neighbors, expect portions you can actually finish. The pastrami and Swiss sandwich was not of the towering NYC deli variety, and the cup of soup may have actually been a proper eight ounces of liquid. $7.50 will get you a Kielbasa, a Bratwurst or a Knackwurst, a scoop of potato salad and a serving of sauerkraut, which may seem like a hefty price, but guess what guys: This is the real deal. My complaints are trivial; I wished I didn't have to settle for Gulden's mustard when there was perfectly good Löwensenf on the supermarket shelf across the room. The famous Napoleonas Torte was just a tad dry, and the sauce (an extra 50 cents) was extremely sweet, but what the heck, it's chocolate raspberry sauce after all. Overall this is a Must Try for anyone wanting an authentic taste of Eastern Europe, which is obviously everyone, right?

P.S. I did some research and found that about 1% of Lithuanians are vegetarian. This is represented on the menu with the veggie sandwich. Just FYI.

Meet Borscht. It's better than it looks. You might expect it to taste like chalk and be good for upset stomachs and diarrhea. But in fact, this chilled beet soup is perfect for Omaha summer, in all its dill-y creamy glory. 

Big fan of Split Pea, y'all. This one is pretty good.

Kielbasa, Kraut, and Potato Salad. 

Boiled Bratwurst with Chips, cuz, why not? Best Brat around. 

Pastrami and Swiss on Rye with that creamy potato salad with hints of vinegar and slivers of boiled egg.
Legit as sh*t. 

Chocolate Raspberry Napoleonas Torte with Chocolate Raspberry Sauce--
Just woke up from the sugar coma. 

Napoleonas Torte with Apricot Amaretto Sauce--
"I'm not a cake person," says one of us as he shovels this in his mouth.

The Pastry Case with a rare view of... Me. 

Ritter Sport chocolates. Take me back to D-land. 

Stoysich House of Sausage

2532 South 24th Street

Omaha, NE 68108

(402) 341-7260

Open Monday thru Saturday, 9am to 5:30pm

www.stoysich.com

We got a Bratwurst and a Danish Apple sausage.

As demonstrated recently by my trip to Baker's, it can be difficult to find high quality interesting foods at the local supermarket chain. Unless your preferred bread is Wonder and you like your food in thick packaging, you might want to branch out here and there and shop for food at other vendors. Stoysich House of Sausage--not to be confused with Frank Stoysich Meats at 51st and Q--has been churning out a variety of sausages and other products for a very long time. Family owned, using locally raised meats, with imported spices, from recipes handed down through generations, by a very large man in a white blood smeared smock. Sounds swell, dudnit? Unfortunately, the three sausages we sampled were consistently quite gross. Thick and packed so full you could barely sink your teeth into them. These were Brats on steroids, the bigger badder American version. Not good.

So don't expect delectable sausage, but do expect a new grocery shopping experience. There was a fantastic selection of house-made salads, smoked jerkies, fresh cuts of meat, a whole shelf of pickled things, an admirable selection of microbrews and imported beers, and products like potato pancakes and spätzle. Just like in the Old Country.

Don't do it! I know you want to though...

"Cuban Reuben" Sausage with Onions, Peppers, Sauerkraut, and Mustard--
You may bite off more than you can chew.

Variety of legit-looking salads

Jerky--
Try a free sample. Or three. 

On that meaty note, let it be known I'll be exploring more vegetarian options in the coming weeks. I'm not really the carnivorous meat freak you might make me out to be. Blame it on the big ole pile of animal bones for sale at Stoysich.

Trip to Baker's

Chicken Enchiladas, Cold

Please, don't give up on Mexican food in Omaha. Sure, we're no California or Arizona or Texas, but please, whatever you do, don't spend $6 on this, unless you need something to laugh at.

Bucket o' Corn

Sometimes you just need a big bucket of buttery corn. Hot. Ready. Now.

Lunchables Version of PB & J

Used to be the kid with the Lunchables was the cool popular one, and then there was lame-o me with the PB&J. Now I don't know what to think.

DiGiorno Pizza and Wyngz

Thank God for those airtight food industry regulations keeping innocent consumers from thinking they're eating wings when they're actually eating wyngz.

Amy's Organic Cheese Pizza Pocket 

Best pizza in Omaha?