Goldberg's II

5008 Dodge Street
402.556.2006
Open Mon - Thurs 11a.m. - 11p.m., Fri and Sat 11a.m. - midnight, closed Sunday
goldbergsindundee.com

Cheeseburger  on Pretzel Bun with Curly Fries ($8.50):
Seasoned, juicy patty, toasted pretzel bun and crisp toppings.
Passed all points of the burger inspection with flying colors. 

My recent visit to Goldberg's in Dundee evoked the repetition (in my head) of one of my least favorite adages: "It is what it is."

The cheeseburger was well-proportioned, and in many ways an exemplary model fit for even the most stringent burgerphiles. The atmosphere, marked by straight backed booths, senior citizens yammering on, and even a mural of what I think was Memorial Park, was charming. The decorative details from decades past and the intimate, relaxed feel reminded me of any one of my home city's bajillion Irish pubs.

The soup was clearly not the focus here -- I'd be surprised if it wasn't doctored up Campbell's, served lukewarm -- but the oyster crackers made me smile. No need to quibble over the unimportant. Goldberg's says they're good at "Burgers, Beers & Bloody Marys," and I believe them.

While the food was mostly pretty good, I'd probably have to befriend some regulars to really get the feel for what makes this place so special. And if I never get around to that, I'll still go here next time I'm in the mood to bust my gut with all of the good things in life. I hear their salads are nice, too.

Pastrami Melt, slathered with creamy horseradish sauce,
and sweet potato fries, which chicks really dig for some reason ($9.45).

The Fourth "B," Bread Pudding ($5.75)

Beef broth soup with the occasional grain of barley and random corn kernel ($4.25).

The Drover

2121 South 73rd Street

402.391.7440

Lunch Mon-Fri from 11-2, dinner nightly from 5pm

droverrestaurant.com

Drover Burger ($8.50)

When I think of the '80s, I think of Communism, cocaine, and salad bars like the one at the Drover. Iceberg lettuce, bacon bits made out of soy, GMO cherry tomatoes, and neon orange French dressing. It's for those of us who want to travel back to a time before we gave a shit about food additives.

Since I was only there for lunch, I didn't try the Drover's most prized item, the Whiskey Steak. Instead, I had the pleasure of sinking my teeth into some of the juiciest beef I've had in this town yet. Recent Best Burger lists have snubbed this one, which made it seem that much more hip. And reuben purists might balk at the substitution of prime rib, but it was a welcome change for me. Corned beef is so sawlty! 

The cavelike little room with only a few other tables felt more like a bomb shelter ('80s!), and in such exclusive quarters I could taste some businessman's Old Spice. If you're willing to brave the odd atmosphere, stop by the Drover for some no-frills, well-grilled beefy sandwiches. They rock.

The salad bar, meticulously positioned amongst glistening ice cubes
and ancient wood and tile. 

The masterpiece I fashioned out of the salad bar materials.

Reuben ($9.75):
Sliced prime rib sets this one apart from the rest. 

Stella's Bar & Grill

106 Galvin Road South, Bellevue, NE
402.291.6088
Mon - Sat 11a.m. - 9p.m.
stellasbarandgrill.com

Double Hamburger ($6.50):
Thick, nicely seasoned beef patties, but drier than July in Omaha. Har har har.

I don't know why this place continues to be voted as having one of the best burgers in Omaha. I really don't get it. It's in Bellevue!

But really, people. While I did enjoy the irregular shape of the patty, which is supporting evidence for their claim that they hand-press them out of fresh beef, I did not enjoy the standard temperature of well done. I reckon since they serve them on napkins they have to grill most of the juice out, or else it'd be too messy. The bun did fall apart a little at the end -- I've heard this is a standard Stella's qualm -- but the toppings were fresh and delicious. Something tells me they've been at this for a while. Plus, how often do you eat more than a couple of onion rings at a time? Well, we nearly licked the wax paper clean of any buttery crumb residue. The fries left something to be desired, but fans of Bronco's fresh-cut grease carriers will like these.

I don't understand how, in this pre-apocalyptic world of deforestation and drought with grain prices out the wazoo, they're able to offer a 6.5 ounce burger for $4, but you better get 'em while you can!

My single Cheeseburger ($4.75) had Swiss, jalapeños and grilled onions,
as well as the standard lettuce, tomato, raw onion, pickle and mayo. 

From top left:
French fries ($2), ranch dressing, onion rings ($3)

They invented plates in 1937.

J. Coco

5203 Leavenworth Street
Omaha, NE 68106
402.884.2626
Open weekdays 11am-2pm, Mon thru Sat 5pm-close, closed Sundays
jcocoomaha.com

Wagyu beef burger, white cheddar, pretzel bun ($11)--
The most pleasurable jaw dislocation of your life

New restaurants are going to feel a little sterile. They need time, at least to acquire a few creepy old regulars. At lunch last week in this spankin' new establishment, no one knew quite what to expect, and from what I could tell, the servers didn't either. A few confusing moments regarding a bread refill and my entree order can be excused for now, though. Sure, the food took an exorbitant amount of time, but I'd be surprised if they didn't get that worked out within a few weeks.

The menu is "American," but more like what would happen if there was a cook-off on 19th century Ellis Island, since it pulls from several distinct cuisines but doesn't really attempt to fuse much. The closest thing to fusion would be the Korean Style Short Rib Tacos -- a dish that's oh-so-popular on the streets of L.A. The pulled meat was plentiful and tender, but the kimchee was far less pungent than some. In fact, a dip into the bold sweet chile sauce totally masked the subtle fermented cabbage flavor. Dip at your own risk.

Korean Style Short Rib Tacos ($11)--
Big trends, little tasty tacos

It just wouldn't be a restaurant in the 2010s without a burger on the menu, now would it? As much as I love the idea of a fried egg on my burg, I urge you to minimize the add ons, so as to experience the full flavor and texture of the exquisite Wagyu beef patty. I love trendy stuff as much as the next guy, but fans of authentic "pommes frites" will be disappointed by the herb-sprinked shoestring fries. Though they are tastier than the stragglers at the bottom of the McDonald's bag, they are nothing like the thick-cut and crispy potato dish indigenous to Western Europe.

Burger pre-assembly, and the "pommes frites"

Greek Style salad ($9)--
Missing the advertised heirloom tomatoes and meyer lemon.
Bitter arugula and creamy vinaigrette still a fantastic combo.

The interior, with its modern contemporary and quasi-edgy feel, might be better suited for western West Omaha, and thus it will be a challenge to feel very hip sipping on one of their ultra-hip craft cocktails at the bar. But like many others, I live within walking distance, and I look forward to more meals here. Once they get a little more comfortable in their space, we should expect more daring and creative dishes from Jennifer Coco and friends.

Old Dundee Bar & Grill

4964 Dodge Street
Omaha, NE 68132
402.558.0801
Open daily for dinner, kitchen open late
Old Dundee on Urbanspoon:

A very respectable Fish & Chips

People sure did love that 49'r place. I arrived in Omaha just as they were auctioning off their tupperware, shortly before the big demolition and eerie replacement with a huge, shiny new CVS. Just a block away from the sacred ground of the 49'r grave, the Old Dundee seems to be handling a lot of their old patrons; on any given night you should watch for darts whizzing past your head and drunks stealing your bar stool. I, for one, really like it here. The downstairs bar in particular has excellent service, a decent tap selection (Hopluia, Ranger IPA, and so on), and a few comfy booths to get your grub on. It's impractical to pick apart the menu like it's some sort of five-star joint. The food feels good going down, which in this setting is what matters. For weeks now, Old Dundee has been featuring Soul Food Sundays, where you can pick up a plateful of favorites like featherbones, cornbread, and collard greens. This special dish changes weekly, and at under $7 a plate, it is not to be missed. If you're not into soul food (and to that I say, what's wrong with you?), the regular menu boasts a crispy pork tenderloin, fried pickles, honky-style nachos, and burgers galore. 2-for-1 shots are also available on Sundays to get your "drunger" going. Bring a couple of ones for jukebox tunes and cozy up to the bar. It's what the 49'r would have wanted.

Last week's Soul Food Sunday:
Fried chicken, greens, cornbread

Marylebone Tavern

3710 Leavenworth Street
Omaha, NE 68105
(402) 341-3232
Open daily for lunch and dinner

...But it was Monday, not Tuesday. 

You've seen the giant shamrock painted across Leavenworth. Maybe you've even been drunk here before. I won't argue that this is a great place to get loaded, but there's considerable "best burger" buzz swirling around about the Marleybone too. As a pub food aficionado, a devoted lover of all things served in greasy baskets without silverware but with plenty of napkins, I had to investigate.

The menus were crusted with grimy fingerprints, the mark of patrons past throwing burgers down their gullets and washing them down with pitchers of piss beer. There were also some charming grammatical errors on the menu, but it's not about spellin', it's about cookin', right?

My appetizer Drummies were a chicken product that somewhat resembled hot wings. They were heavily breaded with something mildly spicy, and kind of uncomfortable to eat, as they were very well done and overly crispy, so much that my Rumple Minze aperitif couldn't dull the pain. Even more distressing was paying $7 for them. Fortunately, the Boner Dog provided much more cheerful amusement, mostly due to the novelty of ordering a bacon-wrapped deep fried hot dog with a goofy name. So what if our stomachs "felt weird" for the rest of the day; we ate a Boner Dog! The favorite was indeed the burger, a patty with so much girth it was almost a round ball of beef. It came cooked through, but still juicy, and with melted pepper jack that made its way into every molten crevice. The Marleybone burger can stand up to some of the city's professed tried and true favorites, and is totally worth a try. My friends were fans of the fries, but I found them a little soggy and saltless, which isn't a huge deal.

Some things were a hit, and some were a miss. Take comfort in the cheap drinks and the friendly faces and you'll forget your food wasn't that great. I do believe that's the beauty of pub food.

Drummies with Ranch--
Ow.

Marleybone Burger with Pepper Jack--
A hit

The Boner Dog:
Bacon-wrapped, deep-fried hot dog with lettuce and tomato on poppy seed bun.
I guess it was kind of sexy. 

"Grill Cheese"

Fat in Arizona

Mr. G, Father of the Bean and Cheese Burrito, Yuma, Arizona

Omaha's Eppely Airfield isn't your state-of-the-art facility. No Wolfgang Puck Express, or even Chili's Too. Since you probably strategically show up thirty minutes before your flight in order to cruise through security and into your seat, there's no need for fancy schmance. This time, though, we made time for a little A&W chili cheese fries.

Soggy, salty, and smelly: Because sometimes peanut packets just aren't enough.

...

Post-flight, a liquid dinner was enjoyed at the Yucca Tap Room, with a slice of pepperoni 'zza for dessert. For fourth meal, we hit up Rivas Mexican Food for burritos. Fatty didn't want to hold up the fun with incessant food documentation, but just know that:

• Yucca is thee night spot in Tempe, with an admirable microbrew menu, tolerable live music, and good to great bar food. My favorite was Tempe's own Hop Knot IPA from Four Peaks Brewery.
• A California burrito has carne asada and papas fritas and is the best thing you can possibly eat at 2:15am. 
• Machaca is a mess of braised beef and in many cases, fried egg. The best choice for raising your cholesterol, a demon to the angel of oatmeal.

...

The Tohono O'odham set up their jewelry for sale. 

Indian fry bread is mostly a carnival or fair specialty, when those of Native American descent break out their deep fryers and stick their fluffy bread in it, then serve them as savory tacos or sweet desserts. Thank the heart disease heavens this isn't an everyday food, because such a concoction will make your left arm tingle. There are just a few places in Phoenix to chow down on it year round, and we happily ignored the lunch crown with a collective Body Mass Index of a million as we savored this special treat. It's best to stick to the "Indian Taco" fry bread, which is dressed up with a simple smear of half-mashed pinto beans and a handful of shredded lettuce and cheese. Cover in the thin-but-spicy hot sauce and swallow. Chase with a tropical iced tea. 

Indian Taco:
Homemade mashed refried pinto beans, shredded cheese and lettuce

Vegetarian Taco:
Refried beans, layered with sauteed spicy green chile strips, onions, sour cream and cheese

...

Like a couple of cowboys, we took the best the Indians had to offer and moseyed down to Yuma, the sunniest city on earth, nestled on the border of California and Mexico. Corn doesn't grow too well in this region known as Sonora. (Gasp! Hold on to your husks!) So, the Sonorans have historically stuck to wheat, which led to the birth of the flour tortilla. Here, Taco Bell and Mission tortillas are replaced by ones that are thinly stretched to the point of near-translucency, made with the pure recipe of flour, water, and lard. Only. Not a thing more. Does it surprise you that Yumans are touchy about their tortillas? To a Yuman, Mr. G and his restaurant Chile Pepper are the tastes of childhood, of purity, of love.

Bean and Cheese Burrito--
Encased in an authentic flour tortilla.
The unexpected weight and the oozing brown always reminded me of a dirty diaper,
but do not hesitate, for this is the best burrito in the land. 

Rolled Tacos:
Shredded beef in a fried corn tortilla. You might know them as Taquitos.
I know them as breakfast.  

...

It's barely noon on a Saturday and Lute's Casino is already loud, boisterous chatter bouncing off the walls decorated with Impressionist knock-offs and Marilyn Monroe portraits, with a lot of T.G.I. Friday's flair junk hanging from the warehouse-height ceilings. A friendly but tough staff keeps things rolling in the sea of round tables, all day and night. A kind of modern Western bar where you'd be more likely to have a drink-off than a duel, Lute's is a must visit in southwest Arizona. And once you're here, you must get the Especial.

The World-Famous Especial:
One (1) butterflied well-grilled hot dog atop one (1) cheeseburger deluxe
equals one (1) gluttonous treat.

Somewhere under the cheese, lettuce and hot sauce, you will find crunchy potato tacos.
Because when it's 110 in the shade you need some extra fuel to burn. 

...

Stuffed beyond words, beer and burrito bellies protruding with guilt and glee, we arrived at the last stop, a friend's cookout near Phoenix. I spread some nacho cheese on a warm tortilla, dumped on a lump of beans and salsa, and wrapped it around a charred hot dog. What I took as inventive turned out to be known as a Taco Dog. Yes, they do things differently down there in the desert, where the landscape might as well be the moon to me, and with 115 degrees, you're screwed if the power goes out (which, as you may have heard, it did). In the midst of all the 9/11 sad and sentimental anniversary hoopla, I got even hungrier to taste the fattest crap the rest of our great country has to offer.  

Tommy Colina's Kitchen

3558 Farnam Street

Omaha, NE 68131(402) 502-9027
Mon 11-2, Tues-Fri 11-9, Sat 9-2 brunch, 3-9 dinner, Sun 9-2 brunch

www.tommycolinaskitchen.com

Chicken Diablo Soup--
With its best friend, the cracker packet

Chicken Tortilla Soup--
Neglected under the shadow of Diablo

Standing in line at the gas station is more interesting, I found out, when you're behind a big dude in a sleeveless tee, waiting to pay for his pint of tequila and plugging his newly-opened lunch spot. It's been a few months since then, but I finally rolled out of bed in time to make the 2pm last call for burgers at Tommy Colina's today. I would recommend you do the same, since Monday is FREE soup day (with the purchase of an entree). The way the waitress rattled off the list of soups with utter disinterest reminded me of reciting a Hail Mary in middle school; like, I've said this a million times, let's just get this over with please. Still, I would probably go back just for the Chicken Diablo, a lumpy/creamy/spicy thing that is best scooped up with crackers, like a chip dip.

Then out came the baskets, each filled to the brim with house-made chips and mammoth sandwiches. The mozzarella on my Pesto Chicken slid off in one gooey glob to reveal a pile of ham and a chunk of chicken breast. Under that was supposed to be a sauce and a slaw, but those ingredients were unfortunately totally lost under the mounds of meat and cheese. By the end of it the deli paper was soaked and sticking to my food. (Do you eat out of a basket in your "kitchen?" Try a plate.) Thankfully, on the Cantina burger, the meat wasn't quite as drowned in toppings. The quasi-local beef is ground fresh daily, which is more than most places can say, making it one of the better burgers around. Go here with a stash of extra napkins and a major appetite. A nod to the vegetarians of the world by perhaps adding a veggie burger would be nice, since I don't think the solitary option of a cheese 'n tomato sandwich is really enough. Or at least get a liquor license, because if you've got a belly full of burger, you'd better have a belly full of beer too. 

Pesto Chicken--
Smoked tomato aioli, green pepper slaw, ham, fresh mozzarella, pesto drizzle;
the ham and cheese could have been its own sandwich, probably.

Cantina Burger--
Jalapeños, guacamole, and Monterey Jack cheese, plus Tommy C's tasty chips

Dinker's Bar

2368 South 29th Street (South of Martha on 29th, just west of I-480)
Omaha, NE 68105
(402) 342-9742
Open Monday thru Saturday 11-9, larger menu during dinner hours, bar open til 1am.
www.dinkersbar.com

House-made Buttermilk Battered Onion Rings--
With a side of house-made Buttermilk ranch! How Buttermilky!

The lunch rush--of the geriatric but jolly business type--was in full swing shortly after noon, and we were swiftly greeted by a worker who laid it down for us: Order at the counter, take a number, get your drinks from the bar, pay cash, sit, eat, relax. Dinker's is of course no secret; it's been around as long as my parents and allegedly serves the "Best Burger in Omaha." Neighboring tables were continually discussing the top quality of the burger, but through the din I could also hear folks hissing the name "Stella's." (Review of Stella's coming soon, next time I feel like driving ALL THE WAY down to Bellevue.) The menu board advertised a "F_AT IRON STEAK," but even then I went for a Malibu Chicken Sandwich. I couldn't even taste the ham under the thick slice of Swiss and slather of mayo, but what did I care. Don't bother with the chips; upgrade to fries or house-breaded greasy as heck onion rings. What to say about the burger that hasn't been said a million times before? Yes, it's exceptional, and there's little reason to gorge yourself on ground beef anywhere else. (Well, almost anywhere else...)

One of these days I'm gonna show up and chew on 40 cent wings and guzzle pitchers of Busch lite with the best of 'em. Dink on.

Malibu Chicken Sandwich--
Breaded fried chicken with grilled ham and Swiss cheese on grilled kaiser bun

Bacon Cheeseburger with Fries

Louie M's Burger Lust Cafe

1718 Vinton Street
Omaha, NE 68108
(402) 449-9112
Breakfast and lunch everyday 'til 3 or 4
http://www.louiemsburgerlust.com/

Just a Few of the Condiments Available

I'm gonna go ahead and put this one on the Must Eat List, if not for the food then for the novelty. Located within the Vinton Street Commercial Historic District--an area on the National Register of Historic Places as of 2006--Louie M's opened in the 80's, when there was that fascination with the 50's, and it shows. Our table was next to the wall of dead celebrity headshots and the bar with the quintessential old-fashioned shiny barstools. This is real life retro shit here. I can't be completely sure, but I would bet the menu hasn't been updated since the 80's either, with your standard breakfast and burger fare. Inspired by the impressive selection of hot sauces on the table, we chose the Taco Burger and the Cajun Burger. Not gonna nitpick here (if you like your burger rarer than medium well, better say so). The toppings were fresh, the cheese was melty, the buns were hot and toasty. Judging by the clientele, perfect for hangovers and lunch breaks alike. Also good for out-of-towners who want to see where real Omahans go.

Taco Burger: Lettuce, Tomato, Shredded Cheddar and Side of Salsa

Cajun Burger: Chopped Onion, Green Pepper, Swiss Cheese and Cajun Spices