Twisted Fork

1014 Howard Street
Omaha, NE 68102
402.932.9600
Mon thru Thurs 11am-10pm, Fri and Sat 11am-11pm, Sun 11am-9pm
Happy Hour every day from 3-6 and 9-close
restaurantsinc.net/twistedfork/

Appetizer Sampler:
That's chicken fried bacon in the foreground,
waffle fries, fried pickles and hot wangs.

The glitzy chandeliers, turquoise vases with oversized feathers, and plush red wall tapestry -- combined with the rather bright spotlight lighting motif -- reminded me a lot of Urban Outfitters Home section. The decor is definitely fancier than the food, which follows more of a stripped down "Texas cowboy" theme. I was disappointed to see they must have taken their venison Frito Pie off the menu, but forgot all about it when the Appetizer Sampler platter came. Our server did a run through of the sauces; good thing I already had my pen out to take notes, since they were all white and creamy. I quickly decided that no one should eat Chicken Fried Bacon, ever. It looked like deep fried jerky and tasted like a salty clogged artery. Still, I appreciated the novelty of something so shamelessly unhealthy, and the white gravy dip sure was zesty. The wings, fried pickles, and waffle fries were all of good quality. The BBQ Beef Sliders had smoky meat, sweet sauce and toasted buns. Mmmmmm, toasted buns... no complaints there. The only thing was, as the only customers of the hour, we caught a strong "we don't really want you to be here" vibe from the employees. In their defense I bet they were just preoccupied getting ready for the dinner rush.

I didn't get to try any of the entrees, but I'd only go back here if I felt like getting all fat about it. Though they have salads on the menu, it's not the kind of place where you order one. You know the saying: "Everyone's fatter in Texas."

BBQ Beef Sliders--
Blurry photo due to the cocktail pictured below.

Mango Mai Tai--
It's true, I ordered a girly drink, and I liked it.

Varsity Sports Café & Roman Coin Pizza

4900 Dodge Street
Omaha, NE 68132
402.934.9439
Open 11am to midnight, bar open til 2am, Sunday is 25 cent wing night.
They hope to start delivery soon.
Plus three other locations in Omaha
www.varsityomaha.com

Mini 7" Pizza with Pepperoni

Although sports bars fall into the "not for me" category, pizza is very much my thing, so I found myself checking out the newest location of this area chain on a recent Saturday afternoon in Dundee. The 14 or so televisions didn't help my ability to make conversation, but the servers' outfits provided some entertainment. Just like belly shirts in the 90s, wearing tights with no skirt/shorts is a privilege, not a right. Hopefully they stimulated some manly men to tip extra based on their behinds and bosoms. I chose to fixate instead on the ample assortment of draft beers, a slightly dented grand piano in the corner, and the traffic on Dodge.

The wings were suspiciously huge with extra white meat, like no other wings I've ever had the pleasure of staining my cheeks orange with. Apart from the freakishness, they tasted good, but the sauce was only of average hotness, despite our cocky request for "as hot as possible." The pizza uncannily reminded me of what you'd get at Chuck E. Cheese. But, the crust was thin and the cheese was browned, which is more than you can say about some local pizza chains. I could get in the mood for this again. They also reportedly offer a decent deep dish.

Frankenwings with Side of Ranch

The Traditional Sub was an assemblage of mediocre-quality ingredients: Bland bread, bargain ham and salami, and one very sad tomato. The crinkle-cut fries were whatever. The startling thing about this sub is that somehow, it WORKED! It just goes to show that a half dozen crappy ingredients can sometimes equal one edible sandwich.

Traditional Sub:
Ham, salami, mozzarella, hot peppers, lettuce and tomato

Sysco ketchup:
Heavy on the corn syrup

Roman Coin Pizza isn't shy about their use of Sysco products. Plopping corn syrup ketchup right on the table moves against the trend of "local" and "organic," but I say, why even bother trying to hide it?
We'll barely even notice with our eyes glued to the waitress' ass game on TV.

Halloween Visit to Quaker Steak & Lube

3220 Mid America Drive
Council Bluffs, IA 51501
Plus other locations throughout this fine country
(712) 322-0101
Monday thru Saturday open 'til 2am, Sunday 'til midnight
www.quakersteakandlube.com

These are wings.

For Halloween I dressed up as a Council Bluffs-onian and dined at the deplorable Quaker Steak. (Hey, I had a coupon!) The interior--with its mounted vehicle parts and bogus street signs--could have been from a nightmare. Our server acted like he hated his life. He was able to rattle off the beer menu quite impressively, though: Miller Lite, Busch Lite, Bud Lite, Blah Lite, Poop Lite, Butt Lite, etc. etc.  But, as far as wings go, these were pretty deece: A couple of full bites of meat, minimal stringy stuff, and "Supercharged" wing sauce that was actually spicy. The soft pretzels with cheese were almost as good as what you get at the movie theater. I pocketed the after-dinner Twizzler that came with the bill in case I ran into any kids in costume later.

Next time I think I'll leave the wing eatin' and Lube Tube drinkin' to the posse of dudes I know, and I'll stay home and knit or something.

These are pretzels.

Jimi D's

6303 Center Street
Omaha, NE 68106
(402) 391-2011
Open for lunch and dinner, daily happy hour (even weekends!) from 3-6pm
www.jimids.com

Beer-battered Calamari with Roasted Red Pepper and Lemon Aioli Sauce

Chicken Wings, Buffalo Style with Bleu Cheese, Pickled Cauliflower and Celery
(Ask for extra hot.)

Jimi D's. Sounds like a chain, don't it? Sounds like Applebee's spawn. Sounds like it's gonna suck. To put it simply, the interior does kinda suck, but the food is stellar pub fare with an interesting flair. The high walls are decorated with art on canvas that you might find at Target, or maybe IKEA. The soundtrack is forgettable and the sports screens dominate the vibe. In our high-backed booth, though, we were able to focus on the grub. We laid off the Bud Lite and made this an eating happy hour, which our server didn't seem to mind. He refilled our waters often, but didn't hover over us, and didn't exude that gushing casual dining cheese that can be so popular. Happy hour appetizers focus on quantity and not quality: The fried calamari was soggy, but at least the breading wasn't too thick. The wings had lots of inedible stringy bits, but we still powered through the pile of them. The nice surprise came with the "entree," the Italian Grilled Cheese with a side salad. The Fontina was present, but not overloaded, and the tomato marmalade cut the grease with an even sweetness, all sharing taste bud space with the crunch of crisp fresh greens. How often does one find food at a sports bar that isn't simply average, overindulgent, generic, unhealthy, and/or boring? I wouldn't hang out at Jimi D's really, but I will go back for a quick late lunch or early dinner. With a wine selection that's better than you'd expect, and dishes ranging from gnocchi to fish and chips to a black bean burger, I do hope this relatively new eatery can find their true niche sometime soon.

Italian Grilled Cheese:
Fontina, tomato marmalade, fresh greens, with prosciutto (optional), on grilled sourdough.
You can actually taste everything! (Tommy Colina's, take note.)

Side salad with leafy dark greens and cherry tomatoes, with house-made balsamic vinaigrette.
I was wrong to expect iceberg.