Chinatown

3720 Leavenworth Street
402-342-3068
Open Mon – Thurs 10:30am – 10pm, Fri & Sat 10:30am – 11pm, Sun 11:30am – 10pm
Delivery with $10 minimum
chinatownomaha.com 

Signage that suggests they've been around since at least 2001,
plus the Marylebone in the background and Mother India in the distance,
making up the culinary corridor of Leavenworth Street.

I used to pass this place on Leavenworth without looking up. I hadn't given it more than one or two subconscious, dismissive thoughts that didn't even come close to making it to the forefront of my mind. I fully assumed, based on location, signage, and the fact that no one I know ever mentions it, that it was simply not for me. The sauces would be syrupy and sugary, nearly undigestible. The meats would have a freezer-burned aftertaste. The vegetables, questionable, and the rice, dry. It might as well have had bullet proof glass dividing the kitchen from the outside world. (I'm not claiming to be some tough bitch or anything, but there are a number of take-out joints in Philly like that.)

Point is, there are a lot of bad Chinese places in town, kids. Watch yourselves.

Little did I know, the grease pool forming while taking this
photo nearly cost me my zebra print tablecloth.

It's true that the first time I ate food from here I woke up twice during the night, too thirsty to even consider a glass, going straight for the faucet while cupping my hands. That's likely more due to the fact that I not only "tried," but pretty much finished two whole entrees. A double dose of sodium will do that.

Let me walk you through that evening.

#C15, Kung Pao Chicken Combo Platter

First, when I ran into an acquaintance on the street, I felt compelled to say I was simply going for a walk, instead of "going to gorge myself at that guaranteed disgusting Chinese place directly behind us." With that major bullet dodged, I entered, placed my order for two at the counter, Facebooked in the corner of the dingy, gray dining room, and quietly collected my brown paper bag after a short eight minutes.

The Kung Pao chicken seemed, as a whole, undercooked, with veggies still too snappy and peanuts somewhat slimy and raw. The lo mein had a sorry vegetable variety, limited to poorly cut carrots, broccoli, and cabbage. I piled it all on one plate and couldn't quite discern the differences in flavor of the two. The egg roll, with tiny bits of minced pork inside, was insanely greasy. I thought about a future devoted to improving temperature control of commercial deep fryers as I ate it, slowly, intense and immediate guilt forming with every bite.

#39, Vegetable Lo Mein 

I vowed to never go back, knowing full well I would because it's convenient, and probably soon.

The second visit, which happened to be on Christmas, provided a feast fit for a holiday absent of city bus service: General Tso's chicken swimming in a luridly sweet, addictive sauce, served with another egg roll I swore I'd throw away and instead munched on once it had chilled off a few hours later. A small order of broccoli in spicy garlic sauce (because it's important to get your veggies) actually had some spice.

These days, instead of dismissing this restaurant whenever I pass, it conjures thoughts of semi-enjoyment, of retiring early for the evening surrounded by an assortment of little white boxes. In this, my fat person fantasy, I never forget to ask for chopsticks.


Chinatown is not good food by any conventional measurements, but if you order carefully, you might just come away satisfied. Suggested strictly for delivery on a crappy weather day, I say get your usual Chinese dish and see how it stacks up against the likes of nearby Rice Bowl and Three's Happiness, two also not very good restaurants. Who knows — you might be pleasantly surprised.

Chinese Place in the Old Market

UPDATE: IT'S GONE! CLOSED!

1215 Howard Street
402.991.9330
Mon - Thurs 11-9:30, Fri and Sat 11-10, closed Sun
houseofleeomaha.com

Ye Old Howard Street

Is this place called "House of Lee," or "California Bowl," or both? The website says the Old Market location is closed, so maybe my experience a few weeks ago was all a dream. A dream in which I patronize a dingy Chinese food diner and emerge feeling... satisfied.

I've passed this place a bunch of times and was sure it would absolutely, positively suck. There's nothing more I can really say. Thought it was gonna suck, and it was actually pretty good. Next.

Moo Goo Gai Pan ($6.25)

Lunch Special ($6.75):
Mongolian Beef and Chicken with Broccoli

Egg Drop Soup (included with lunch)

If you haven't seen this TED talk on the origin of Americanized Chinese cuisine, there are worse ways you could spend 15 minutes:

Pana 88

3201 Farnam Street
402.934.7262
Mon - Sat 11a.m. - 9p.m., Sun noon - 9p.m.
pana88.com

Sweet & Sour Chicken ($7.50) --
I hear they love this stuff over there in Asia.
Pineapple, green bell pepper, onion and carrot freshened things up.

I present to you Omaha's newest pan-Asian eatery, which is one of my least favorite labels. Combining and mastering a bunch of distinct culinary styles hardly ever works out. But add a dose of American (Peanut Butter Chicken, sweet potato fries), attention to detail, and low prices, and you have my favorite place for pan-Asian in Midtown Crossing.

One thing is for sure: I will be in for the Scallion Pancakes ($4) again -- maybe tomorrow. The thick, chewy, and slightly greasy dough transported me to the streets of Chinatown USA. Of the three dipping sauces, the chili was my favorite since it provided a real kick in the mouth.

Scallion Pancake ($4):
Soy sauce, garlic chili sauce, and I'll be darned if that's not ranch dressing.

I liked the entrees the way you like that girl you met at the bar that laughs at all of your jokes but doesn't really have any of her own. I appreciated the meticulously cut veggies and the absurdly reasonable portion sizes. The beef was tender and the batter on the chicken was thin and light. The sauces were balanced and there was just the right amount. In the world of fast casual, this is the cream of the crop.

The music, combined with the Shazam app on my phone, provided some hearty laughs. And the three big-screen televisions seemed completely unnecessary. It looked like there were only soft drinks and juices available, so be sure to have your aperitif before you arrive. With a relatively non-adventurous range of flavors, spices, music, and decor, Pana 88 didn't blow my socks off, but it's much more than Midtown's PF Changs, and definitely worth a visit soon.

Mongolian Beef ($7.25):
This might not really be the post-independence National Dish of Mongolia,
but mushrooms, onions, and cellophane noodles combine to form a super pan-Asian treat. 

Crystal Jade

7255 Cedar Street (north of Center on 72nd)
402.398.1688
Open for lunch and dinner daily
jadedinners.com

Spicy Pork Bulgogi ($7.95 lunch)

Take some decent but uniform "Pan Asian," add one part creepy vibe of former Village Inn, mixed with a dash of good old family-owned feeling, and a heavy dose of quirk (extensive girly fauxtini menu and a free beer for liking them on Facebook), and voila, you've got Crystal Jade.

Uncle Steve and Aunt Shirley are the peeps who run the place, and a quick scan of their booze menu would lead you to believe they're into having a good time: Everyday is "Happy Day" with $5 sake bombs, for example. Getting drunk would be trippy here, though; lunch was populated by large business groups and kids with Grandpa, all chowing down in a snazzed up former diner chain. The metal-backed chairs were cool, though.

Chicken Hot Garlic Sauce ($6.75 lunch)

As for the food, well, it was just as monochromatic as it looked in those Aksarben Cinema advertisements you may have seen before your movie. The Spicy Pork Bulgogi and the Chicken with Hot Garlic Sauce looked disturbingly similar, almost like they were cut from the same steam table pan. Major gripes include the absence of the advertised snow peas in the bulgogi, the utter lack of spiciness on menu items marked with the little red pepper (maybe they crank it up at dinner?), and the fried rice that tasted like white rice coated with some soy sauce. The good news was that I was hungry a few hours later, not because of MSG, but rather because everything tasted fresh and healthy. The veggies were crunchy, and nothing -- not even the hot and sour soup -- was too salty.

Sometimes I wonder if I just didn't order the "right thing." Props for the gluten-free and vegan dishes, but this wheat-eating omnivore is still on the search for great (Americanized) Chinese.

Egg Drop Soup

Hot & Sour Soup

Underwhelming Fried Rice

Shang Hai Garden

3118 South 24th Street (in the shopping center just north of Vinton)
(402) 342-2244

A Chipotle, a Tomatillo, and a Tomato Salsa,
Paired with Corn Chip Strips

Shrimp Egg Rolls--
More like big spring rolls, with sweet and sour sauce

I dipped my egg roll into the spicy tomatillo salsa. Just because I could.

This isn't fusion, this is a fight: Chinese vs. Mexican, happening now, in a South O strip mall next to No Frills. Tablecloths with Chinese characters. Wall posters exclusively in Spanish. Kikkoman, Sriracha, AND Tapatio on the tables. To be clear, if I wanted either one of these cuisines on its own, I wouldn't come here, but there's something about the wacky combo you should experience at least once. Sure, the tables were sticky, and I preferred not to think about the grime that must be living in the kitchen. Just sweep the dirt under the carpet in your mind and you'll be fine. The highlights were the salsa trio, house-made and hotter than Helen's house, and the shrimp egg roll, which was ready to take any unlikely dip you could throw at it. The meat in the tacos had a hint of Chinese spice, like what would happen if you stored your al Pastor with your Kung Pao in the same tupperware for a few days, and the tortillas were no bueno. Our entree, Snow Pea Chicken, was so-so, but a few heaping spoonfuls of delicious chili sauce made things more interesting.

I can't vouch for Shang Hai in terms of culinary mastery, but it is a novel idea carried out by folks who aren't aware of their "concept;" they're just eatin' what they like to eat.

Pork Tacos

Snow Pea Chicken

Chili Sauce